The Why

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my life and the "whys" behind the choices I make. I truly believe that where you invest your time and money shows what is important to you. I almost cringe when I hear people say (when concerning their kids) it is not about quantity time it is about quality time. I believe that quality time is born out of quantity time.

Which is why I choose to spend my days and hours with these people. Because, they matter so much to me. Ever since I was little all I ever wanted to be was a wife and mom and live in "suburbia". Sometimes I can't help but sit in awe that for some reason God has chosen to let me live out my dream life. But, I will say, in the process, he has changed the dream a bit and made it deeper.

 I now have a vision for my family beyond what I ever thought about as a little girl. And I have a vision for my own life beyond what I ever thought about. I have big dreams for our family... as a family... and as individuals.

 I was journaling this morning and the words I put to it were that I want to raise my children "to be big dreamers and leaders who do it all so that God's glory might be made known." And, I want that for Nick and I as well.

 It is easy to get wrapped up in the moment. Of how precious and little they are. It is easy to spend time worried about them learning to be polite and wait their turn and wash their hands. But, am I spending just as much time investing in their hearts? I sure hope so. Because at the end of the day raising children who are "nice" is just not enough.

I want to raise up children who know who they are in the Lord and are not afraid to tell the world who He says they are. I want them to not be afraid of their big God given dreams, but to live their life in total abandon to the One who put those dreams inside of them.

And, I think to some degree that starts with me (and my husband) leading by example. Of Nick and I not being afraid to follow the dreams that God has given us and to see Nick and I not appologizing for the people God made us to be.

I have spent my entire adult life being what I thought was {humble}. I denied any gifts or talents I had and never shared any dreams for my life. I was in so many ways afraid of failure. If I said I was good at something and then failed at it I was afraid I would look stupid. Or, if I set out to live out a dream and something went wrong I thought I would look foolish.

But, lately I have realized... who am I to deny what God created me to be? Who am I to deny the dreams that He put inside of me. And how on earth will I ever teach my children to be dreamers and leaders if their own mother is a wallflower just watching life go by- afraid to try anything that I might possibly fail at.

So, I am officially announcing that this fall I am launching a new blog!  It is a dream God put in my heart when I was a little girl and I am done ignoring it and pushing it away (okay, he didn't put {blog}on my heart when I was little but He did put writing something on my heart!) I don't really know what it will look like or exactly what it will be about and I don't know if anyone will read it besides me and my Grandma (because she loves me and will read anything I write!) But, I know that I will finally be saying YES to something that God has been asking me to do for awhile now.

And in the process I will hopefully teach my children to not live in fear of failure and to never say "no" to God!

Thank you all in advance! You all who read my blog have been the biggest cheerleaders and such awesome encouragers! I love the comments and e-mails I get and it means more to me than you will ever know. So many of you have spoken truth to me when I doubted my own abilities and it has meant so much to me.

*I feel a little nauseus just pressing "post" on this one! :)