I have a confession. Sometimes I do the one thing I always said I would never do... I yell at my kids. I get annoyed. I speak more harshly than I should. I get really frustrated. A few months ago I really made the decision to change. I didn't like being the mom that yelled.
So, God has been working on me. And I have to brag on God here because he has totally changed my heart. For awhile there I had to try really hard not to yell. I had to count to 10. I had to take deep breaths. I had to walk away... But, little by little I got much better.
A few days ago I saw this on Women Living Well (one of my absolute favorite encouraging blogs)
and I had the most amazing moment. I realized that God has totally done a work in my heart. And where I used to have to REALLY try to not yell it is now easy. Yelling at my kids is no longer my default. And it is wonderful.
Tonight I had one of those nights that just a few months ago would have sent me over the edge. I have 2 sick kiddos (you can read more about that here), Nick came home sick from work at noon and is totally out of commission, I have a puppy, and I haven't slept in days. (Disclaimer: I am not saying any of this to brag in any way about myself and I know that tomorrow I could easily slip up and be a mopey/crabby/disaster of a mom... but I just have to brag on what God did for me tonight). But, despite these circumstances, I had a great night. And it wasn't even that hard. I was patient with the kids, we read books, played... I didn't get through the evening in survival mode but attempted to have a great evening regardless of the circumstances. I truly believe that God got me through tonight and that He is helping me be a better mom to my kids and I am SO grateful for that!
Friends, all of this is just to say that God really does hear our prayers. He really does care. And if you ask Him, He really will help you become who He created you to be. And if you need a little help or encouragement in the area of gentleness along the way check out The Gentleness Challenge at WomenLivingWell.org.
"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near." Phillipians 4:5
It's nice to know there are other moms out there who struggle with this. I have never been a yeller but I struggle with harsh tones and patience and being easily annoyed. Like you, God has placed it on my heart to change and I am very much a work in process so very thankful for forgiveness. I have just started trying to work on this, but I can say the baby steps I have taken have made my love for my girls grow and see them in a differen life. Thanks for posting this.
ReplyDeleteI meant to say "see them in a different light." Typing on an iPod is challenging. ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great feeling! I am so proud of you. I need to work on not yelling at the dogs. Seriously, nothing gets me more heated than they do! lol
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't believe how sick you've all been! I pray you don't get sick and that when everyone is healthy, you deserve a massage!
I clicked your link from women living well. I am on this gentleness journey, also! And like you, I have found myself to be "that" mom I never thought I would be! Your blog blessed me! It helps me to know that I am not alone in this journey!!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
I'm over from WLW and enjoyed your honesty and reading your entry. I'm also now following you - I'd love the follow back at http://growingforchrist.wordpress.com
ReplyDeleteGod bless and praying for your continued success on the gentleness challenge.
Great to read this.
ReplyDelete