Does anyone else feel like we live in a time where people say "being a mother is the highest calling" or "being a mother is so important" but the same people put down motherhood in the next sentence. I know that this is just venting and that there are some people out there who actually DO believe that being a mom is an important job. But, I feel like most people who say that are also the ones telling me, "you need to have something you do outside of your family just for you... why don't you sell Tupperware?" Or "this is great now, but you are going to go back to work once your kids are in school right?"And the most discouraging thing is that so much of the time I hear this from moms. The message is: "What you are doing now isn't good enough. It is fine for the meantime, but you need to get in the game!" I know these women are just buying into what the world is selling them but it is so disheartening.
I CHOOSE to be a full time mom. I have a college degree. One I could easily use to work from home (as many people point out to me on a regular basis). I am an educated adult and have the option of going back to school and getting even more degrees if I feel like it. But, I choose to make my family my full time job. I am not saying it is wrong for other people to choose to work from home or even outside of the home. But, I do feel tired of being put down for my choice to not work and dedicate myself full time to my family. And I am even more tired of Christian women trying to pass off these "suggestions" as Truth.
A few months back I started buying into this idea that I needed to be doing something outside of my family just for me. I had been hearing it a lot. And I started to believe it. Where before I felt secure and confident as a full time mom I started to feel insecure. I started to think I was a bad mom because I didn't have a job outside of my home or a big hobby that took me away from home a few hours a week. And again, I don't think those things are necessarily wrong for some people. But, I also don't think they are necessary for everyone.
I do believe that we need to see ourselves as people outside of just our calling as mothers. But, I believe that God wants our identity to be in Him. And for me I do not need a job outside of my home to see my identity in Christ.
I DO enjoy time away from my children from time to time. I love getting out by myself and grabbing a coffee and reading my Bible at Starbucks or even going to the grocery store by myself. I love getting together with ladies for Bunco or a craft night. I love meeting up with my mom to go shopping or spending some time during the afternoon on the phone with a good friend. I love getting date nights out with my husband.
So, I am not saying that women who choose to work or have hobbies are doing anything wrong... unless they are using their work or hobbies to give them an identity. We as Christian women need to be loving each other and encouraging each other to find our identities in Christ. The only other thing the Bible tells us to encourage each other in besides who we are in Christ is to love our husbands and children and to be busy at home (Titus 2:4-5). We need to stop preaching the world's gospel to one another and start speaking truth to each other.
So, if you are struggling as a mom feeling like you don't have your own identity outside of your children and I want to encourage you to find your identity in Jesus. He is all we need. And if we pour our lives into Him he will pour His life back into us. When we are keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus we realize that it is not us that matters, but Him.