What should childhood look like?

This little article, supposedly written by a preschool teacher, has been floating around on Facebook. I read it last week and saw that my sister re-posted it yesterday. I loved it so much I cried. And then vowed to re-read it everyday (which I have already failed at! ha!) But, here it is...

Written by a Pre-School Teacher – It says it all!
I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. “What should a 4 year old know?” she asked.
Most of the answers left me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how to write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only three. A few posted URL’s to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.
It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that hers couldn’t. We are such a competitive culture that even our pre-schoolers have become trophies and bragging rights. Childhood shouldn’t be a race.
So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.
She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn’t feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.
He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he’ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she’s wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvellous. She should know that it’s just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that– way more worthy.
But more important, here’s what parents need to know.
That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.
That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.
That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children “advantages” that we’re giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.
That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children’s toys and they wouldn’t be missed, but some things are important– building toys like lego and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too– to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it’s absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.
That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That’s not okay! Our children don’t need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US. They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they’re a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.

Oh this totally put so many of my feelings into words! If I get one more lecture on the importance of kids being in sports and other "organized activities" I might just scream! Seriously! Our kiddos do not need to be busy! They do not need a schedule full of "activities". They need freedom to play and learn! They need time to be bored so that they can pick up books, or decide to write their own. Time to play pirates and princesses or both. Time to sing songs and play outside.

We have struggled to find the balance in activities with our kids. This year we have opted to do a few that our kids could do together (art class once a week and a gymnastics class once a month) and that were during the day so that they do not cut into family time. I almost cringe when I hear that families aren't able to go do fun things together, or visit relatives, go on a trip, or serve in their community because Little Johnny has a basketball game. Seriously, family life revolves around the 5 year old? I am not anti-sports. We have done a few and I am sure will do a few more in the future. But, they have taken over family life in our world and it makes me so sad. And at the same time I have been tempted to sign on for it too because it seems to be what everyone else is doing and I so desperately want to give my children a "normal" childhood.

But, then, maybe I don't. Because looking around it seems like a normal childhood is one with little to no family time. Most time at home is spent in front of the tv, XBox, or some handheld device. Childhood is not characterized by playing but by competition and trying to get ahead.

It makes me sad. And I am frustrated with myself because I give into it sometimes too. I am tempted to keep our calendar full too. And I turn on the TV way more often than I should... I should really tell them to grab a book or go make up a play to perform for me in 20 minutes. But, I get lazy and I go to the default. But, I want to be better. I want my children to have a "simple, carefree childhood". 

So, I am going to be working towards that... Working towards saying "no" to little league, chess club, and a long list of classes that promise to make my kids amazing... and saying "yes" to forts in the living room, walks to the playground, help making cookies, and just one more story...

And of course, I will keep you posted :)

The one where I am selfish...

I love having people over to our home. I love entertaining. When Monica on Friends said, "I am ALWAYS the hostess!" I found myself saying, "preach it, Sister!" But, 4 kids, homeschooling, and just general business have left me feeling a little less than hospitable these past few years. It started to feel like having people over was just too stressful. And then, a few weeks ago, we offered up our home for our weekly small group gatherings.

We knew when we bought our home that we wanted to use our home as a place of ministry. We bought a house bigger than we needed for just our family with a good layout for entertaining. We dreamed of all of the ways we could use our home to serve God and were eager to have a space to serve and love people. And I believe we have done that... but lately it has been harder.

Enter the small group situation. I was so excited to be able to share our home with our small group peeps. And, it is why we bought the house in the first place. Yesterday was our first night hosting. I woke up yesterday morning feeling a little bit anxious but was mostly eager. Then I got an e-mail that another family would be joining us and that there would be 29 people that night. I got nervous! And then... I got selfish!

I immediately thought... "What if something gets ruined? What if someone spills something on my new couch? What if our carpet gets messed up? What if one of my kids' toys gets broken?"... I immediately started thinking of why I shouldn't "have" to be the one to host (um... pretty sure I offered!). 

I don't like to claim that God "spoke to me". There was nothing audible. But, as I was praying (well... complaining) to God about the whole situation I believe that he spoke to my heart on some level. I realized that yes, things might get broken, they might get ruined... but you know, they are not MY things. This is not MY house. This house and everything in it belong to God. I am simply the one who is stewarding it and it is to be used for His glory and purposes.

The earth us the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it" -Psalm 24:1

It was exactly the reminder I needed. How true is that of everyTHING in our life? These things really aren't ours, but we hold onto them so tightly sometimes. 

We enjoyed last night. We were blessed being able to use our home. Hospitality is not easy. It does require work to get your home ready, serve food, clean up afterwards, etc. But, we can find joy in knowing that we are serving for the One who is The Servant.

No doubt I will still struggle sometimes. My selfishness will get the best of me. But, hopefully I can look back to Psalm 24:1 and remember. And find peace in the fact that I am simply the steward of all that I have but that in reality it all belongs to God. 

Update on the other Little R's!

Since I did a little post on Sam last week I thought I would do a little update on what these cuties have been up to lately...

Let's just go across the row...

Sophie Lou. She will be 5 here in just a few weeks. 5! How can that be? Sophie brings such a fun and girly dynamic to our family. She is girly girly girly, but she loves to play HARD with her brothers too. She has recently been very into Wonder Woman (notice the headband)... that way she can still be girly and play super heroes with her brothers at the same time. Sophie gets along well with everyone in the family. She and Max are best friends but she also has developed a super close relationship with Jack recently too. She loves to pick him up by his armpits and swing him around. She is definitely the big sister!And of course Sophie loves her baby brother. She dotes on Sam whenever he is around and loves to hold him. Sophie is also starting to read pretty well and is very exited to be doing Kindergarten this year.

Max P. is really starting to grow up. He is just a few months shy of 7 and we are really starting to notice some maturity coming down the pike. Max still loves animals and especially loves making up his own animals, drawing pictures of them, and then teaching us all sorts of facts about them. It is especially precious when he pretends to make animal documentaries... they usually involve him narrating in a British accent! Max has been taking piano lessons for a little while now and I have been very impressed with his progress. He loves to go to his lessons and most of the time doesn't mind practicing. He has also really taken off with reading. He has gained a lot more confidence and I think that has made a big difference in his willingness to try to read more difficult words and books.

And Jack Jack. I can't believe he is going to be 3 soon. Jack is such a fun agreeable little guy. Although his new thing is asking to do something and immediately following it with, "don't say "no" Mommy". It cracks me up. Jack's favorite thing in the whole world is his Papa. He constantly wants to go to Papa's house. He even wanted his hair cut so that he would look like Papa and also has decided to have his birthday party at Papa's house. He likes to pretend to be Papa and will insist that we call him "Little Papa". Jack loves Mater from Cars and wants to have a "Cars 2 Birthday" :) He also loves monster trucks and tractors. He really looks up to his big brother and sister. He is also very protective of his little brother. He watches out for Sam and takes his role as big brother very seriously.

Nick and I could not be prouder of our little crew. It is fun to see all of their different personalities and watch as they all start to relate to each other and us differently. Such a blessing!

5 months old

This guy is 5 months old today. 

He is doing some fun new tricks such as; rolling over both ways, taking a binkie (finally!), sucking on his toes, eating rice cereal, blowing raspberries, and basically making our hearts feel like they might explode any moment if he gets even a tiny bit cuter.

Do you like that drool action shot in the last one? Ha!

We sure love you Sam P. Thank you for bringing even more cuteness to our sweet family in the past 5 months. We look forward to continuing to watch you grow and change... but feel free to slow it down just a little bit...

The first week of July!

Here is a little catch up to what the crazy R's have been up to for the past week or so :)

We had a blast celebrating the 4th of July! We started off the day meeting up with some friends at our town's little 4th of July parade. It was super cute and the kids enjoyed playing with their friends and collecting lots of candy!

Sammy's 1st 4th of July

Enjoying the candy already

Sophie and her girlfriends had a blast watching the parade!

After the parade we had 3 families over for a 4th of July Party! We ate lots of yummy food and the kiddos played outside in a kiddie pool and on the playground. We had a total of 16 kiddos at our "little" get together! Which is why I didn't snap a single picture! It was so fun. 

Then, in the evening my Grandma and I headed to the Muny to see Nunsense. We didn't exactly plan to go on the 4th of July but that is when our season tickets were for so we went! Phyllis from The Office was in it which was fun! We had a good time! Although the show itself wasn't that great... so we may or may not have left at intermission...

I love my Grandma and it was fun to have her all to myself for the evening instead of having to share her with the kiddos :)

We loved the fans that they were giving out at the show! Sister Grandma?

This weekend Sophie got to go to a super cute little tea party for her friend London's 5th birthday. London's mama did an amazing job at making everything adorable and perfectly girly! I was so thankful for my girl to have such a girly afternoon since she is always surrounded by boys!

Drinking "tea"... pinkies up!

The precious birthday girl!

Love these girls! So thankful for sweet girlfriends.

And here are a few more pics from the last few days...

The hubs and I had the sweetest date night in. We sat on our back deck , drank wine, and chatted. It was lovely. The deer that walked through the field and all of the fireflies made it even better... sigh... I like that guy.

I love how awesome our cat is with our kiddos. Here he is "babysitting" Sam.

Can you even call it summer without popsicles on the porch?

The big kids had their swim lessons this morning and we like to stay and play for a bit afterwards. Love these little fishies.

And baby brother slept in his stroller the whole time. :)

On tap for tonight is going to the Lincoln County Fair with my parents! This is one of my kiddos very favorite events of the whole year! So, here's hoping we have a great time! We probably won't stay too long because of the heat! But, I did promise cotton candy if we have to leave early!

Sidenote: I have started a little weightloss blog to track my progress. These baby pounds have gotta go! So, feel free to check it out right here. :) But, be warned, it is just pictures of food and not of cute squishy babies... :)

R Family Update (with lots of Instagram pics!)

So, I realized Instagram has sort of replaced blogging in my life. I LOVE Instagram. It is such a fun way to document what is going on in day to day life and it is super quick and easy to use (definite bonuses for a busy mama)! So, if you don't already, feel free to follow me over there. My username is "katieramsey".

But, I still do love blogging from time to time. So, I thought I would do a little catch up post on what we have been up to these days!

We have been really enjoying summer this year! Including spending almost every minute outside, staying up way too late, eating food off of the grill, spending tons of time with family and friends... basically I am not sure I ever want fall to come...

We started off our summer with a trip to Kansas City to visit my sister and brother-in-law... Sam's first road trip! (We had a blast and the kids are begging to go back!) Here's a picture of Max enjoying some real KC bbq...


Then a few weeks ago we had friends come visit us! One of my very bestest friends ever, Christina, and her two sweet kiddos came up from Springfield to spend some time with us and we are still talking about it everyday. We loved having house guests and I was so blessed by our time together. Our Springfield friends were basically our family when we lived there, so it was so special to have them visit us. We miss them so much! I love these pictures from their visit!



And now for a giant photo dump of pics from our summer so far... :)

Jack thinks he is big stuff when he rides his big boy bike

We took the kiddos to Indian Camp Creek to play and then followed it up with Lulu's Shaved Ice. It was a big hit and might be one of our new favorite treat!

The kiddos were invited to a sports themed birthday party so they went decked out in their Cardinal's gear!

Nick and I got to go see Spamalot at the Muny. It was so good! And, basically any date night with my man is a big win in my book!

Nick and Max went to their second Father/Son campout with our church. They had a great time.

While the boys were at the campout, we had some girls over for a little ice-cream and p.j. party. I love this pic of Jack right in the middle of all the girls.

We had an irrigation system installed and it provided lots of entertainment for Jack and Sophie!

Max and Sophie also started swimming lessons.

Sam also got to take his first dip in the pool! He really liked it.

Max and I got to have a Mommy/Son date. We went to Crushed Red for dinner and then to the Muny!

It was Max's first time to go to the Muny. We saw Shrek the Musical and he loved it! We still talk about it everyday!

We are loving our neighborhood pool this summer. One afternoon last week the big kids and I snuck away while Daddy was at home with the little boys for an afternoon swim!

My parents (Papa and Grandma!) blessed us big time with a new (to us) swingset. The kids basically spend every moment that they are awake outside playing. Last night Sam was super cranky so we went out for him to swing and he was instantly in a better mood!

Homeschool Curriculum for 2013-14

I finally did it... I chose our curriculum for 2013-14 year. And I took the plunge... we are going with Sonlight!

According to their website:

Sonlight Curriculum is a Christian homeschool curriculum company specializing in literature-based homeschool curriculum programs. We provide complete homeschool curriculum packages and individual resources and materials so you can build the preschool or K-12 homeschool curriculum that best meets your family's needs. Sonlight is based in Littleton, Colorado and serves homeschoolers in over 150 countries worldwide.

Instill in your children a life-long love to learn. Prepare them to engage new ideas. Challenge them to impact the world.

I am very excited about our decision. I considered using it last year, but because of it's higher price tag I went a different direction and used an eclectic approach. I was planning to go that route again this year but after talking to a few other homeschool moms I realized that at least for the season of life we are currently in I need to have everything handed to me. I don't really have the time and mental energy for lots of lesson planning, running to the library every week, etc. So, a plan where I am given everything including all of the books I will need for the year was very appealing.

My husband also lovingly pointed out that we will definitely get our money's worth out of buying all of the books since we will have 4 kids going through our little homeschool (Lord willing!). We  are going to use Sonlight's Core A: Introduction to World Cultures. Max and Sophie will do most of their school together although I did purchase separate readers (Kindergarten for Soph and First Grade for Max) and handwriting programs for them.

The only thing I didn't purchase through Sonlight was their math curriculum (although it is one of the ones that Sonlight recommends). We are still working through Saxon 1 after we switched from Horizon's last year and then I was able to purchase Saxon 2 second hand so we will move onto that whenever we are ready.

I am really excited to get everything and start checking it out. I am not sure when our official school year will start. This will be our first year logging hours (for Max) and that can start on July 1. Missouri state law requires 1000 hours, 600 of which have to be in the core subjects.

So, I am feeling excited for this year. I am hoping that Sonlight will be a good fit for our family. I feel like it really fits well with a lot of our goals in homeschooling our children. But, as always, I will keep you posted!