Happy Monday!
Over here we are starting week 3 of our "no electronics during the week" rule. And I am happy to report that I think it is here to stay.
We had gotten pretty good about limiting electronics and I had limited them specifically to after school time for the big kids. But, I felt like they were spending their whole day waiting for electronics... "Is it time to watch a show now?" "When is it time to play with the iPad?" "Can I play Wii after this?" I felt like they were wasting their entire day wanting to play with electronics.
So, a few weeks ago I decided to go electronics free on the weekdays after getting some inspiration from a few other blogs. It has been wonderful! I feel like my kids feel free to just play now! They don't have to worry about when it will be time for electronics. When we have a break or they are finished with school they just run to play... and usually they want to play together! I feel like it has had an awesome impact on sibling unity. My kiddos have always been creative but I feel like the creativity is reaching new levels and I love that so much of it is together.
I also feel like I notice a big change in my kids behavior on electronics vs. non-electronics days. Max especially is so much calmer (emotionally) on days without electronics. I feel like I can see him being kinder to us and his siblings and it is refreshing.
And the sneaky part is... we tend to be so busy either getting work done or playing as a family that we rarely have time on the weekends to do electronics anyway (insert evil laugh).
:)
Monday, October 21, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
2013 Pumpkin Patch Pictures!
This year I asked on Facebook for some local pumpkin patch reccomedations. For the past few years we have gone to a local place called Daniel's that we love. But, I wanted to see if we were missing anything spectacular. I got some really good recommendations but the morning we decided to go there was a good chance of rain. We decided to go ahead and stick with Daniel's since 70% of it is under a roof so we would still be able to have fun. After our trip Nick and I decided to stick with Daniel's every year. It is just so cute and it is fun to see our kids come back a little older to the same place every year.
Prepare yourself for an obscene amount of pictures...
We love the little petting zoo at Daniel's. The baby cows were just too precious.
I am glad Jack is getting over his fear of cows (seriously, this kid would wake up screaming at night that cows were going to get him). He liked these baby ones and said that they were nice.
Our kiddos could have spent the whole day grinding corn and been perfectly content. They were so cute just spinning the wheels... And Nick and I are now considering corn meal as a family business...;)
We had to get everyone's measurements. Sam was feeling pretty under the weather so he spent almost our entire trip in the Ergo sleeping but I did get this little shot of him.
I was instructed to take this picture just for Papa. Jack's Papa obsession continues... even at the pumpkin patch. Don't worry, he got to see him in person the next day..
I have a pic like this of Sophie from a few years ago so I wanted to make sure to get a shot again this year.
The pony rides were a big hit with all of the kids! Thankfully we got in line right when they started so we didn't have to wait in the super long line that followed...
I really was there too... see? There are rarely pics of Mama!
After the pumpkin patch Dad suggested lunch at It's a Better Burger. I had never been before... but they have sweet potato fries that you dip in marshmallow fluff! It was amazing. Perfect family day with my favorite people.
Prepare yourself for an obscene amount of pictures...
We love the little petting zoo at Daniel's. The baby cows were just too precious.
I am glad Jack is getting over his fear of cows (seriously, this kid would wake up screaming at night that cows were going to get him). He liked these baby ones and said that they were nice.
Our kiddos could have spent the whole day grinding corn and been perfectly content. They were so cute just spinning the wheels... And Nick and I are now considering corn meal as a family business...;)
We had to get everyone's measurements. Sam was feeling pretty under the weather so he spent almost our entire trip in the Ergo sleeping but I did get this little shot of him.
I was instructed to take this picture just for Papa. Jack's Papa obsession continues... even at the pumpkin patch. Don't worry, he got to see him in person the next day..
I have a pic like this of Sophie from a few years ago so I wanted to make sure to get a shot again this year.
The pony rides were a big hit with all of the kids! Thankfully we got in line right when they started so we didn't have to wait in the super long line that followed...
I really was there too... see? There are rarely pics of Mama!
After the pumpkin patch Dad suggested lunch at It's a Better Burger. I had never been before... but they have sweet potato fries that you dip in marshmallow fluff! It was amazing. Perfect family day with my favorite people.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Catching Up- Random Goings On
Just thought I would pop in with a bullet point post of some things that are currently happening in our house right now, things I am loving, thinking, etc...
I am loving my Ergo carrier so much! I didn't really do any baby wearing when Max was born. With Sophie I had a sling carrier which I liked when she was itty bitty but after that I didn't wear her much. With Jack I bought the Moby and a Baby Bjorn. I loved the Moby! The Bjorn not so much. This go round I decided to invest in the Ergo. I wish I had done it sooner! I don't love it for itty bitty babies but after 6 months it is super easy and comfy! Sam is always so happy when he is in it. I especially love to use it when I go grocery shopping so that there is actually room in the cart for groceries.
This is a pic from Sam's well baby check up a few weeks back. Unfortunatly this weel he has a cold and is miserable. He is barely sleeping at all (even worse than usual which is hard to imagine! ha!) He is super snotty and congested. He has been sleeping in his baby rocker which is helping a lot. But, I am ready for this cold to hit the road!
Our washing machine bit the dust. It was a hand me down Maytag set from my parents and I loved it. It did such a good job! We had the dryer repaired a few times but when the washing machine broke the repair guy let us know that it really wasn't worth fixing. So, I spent the whole day researching what to get and decided to skip out on the front loaders. This set got great reviews and has the same capacity as a front loading set. I am really loving it... and it sings a fun jingle when the washer or dryer is done!
This is my girl a few weeks ago on our breakfast date! I peeked into her room at 6:30 and saw that she was awake so I snuck her away for some girl time at Panera. Nick and I both love to get one on one time with our kiddos and we chatted a few weeks ago and realized that early on weekday mornings might be a good time to sneak that in. I loved my time with this precious girl.
This guy went to the groomer last week! He needed to go badly! He was a mess. He looked so cute when he got home. They had even put a little fall bandana on him. We love our Scout!
I am loving my Ergo carrier so much! I didn't really do any baby wearing when Max was born. With Sophie I had a sling carrier which I liked when she was itty bitty but after that I didn't wear her much. With Jack I bought the Moby and a Baby Bjorn. I loved the Moby! The Bjorn not so much. This go round I decided to invest in the Ergo. I wish I had done it sooner! I don't love it for itty bitty babies but after 6 months it is super easy and comfy! Sam is always so happy when he is in it. I especially love to use it when I go grocery shopping so that there is actually room in the cart for groceries.
This is a pic from Sam's well baby check up a few weeks back. Unfortunatly this weel he has a cold and is miserable. He is barely sleeping at all (even worse than usual which is hard to imagine! ha!) He is super snotty and congested. He has been sleeping in his baby rocker which is helping a lot. But, I am ready for this cold to hit the road!
Our washing machine bit the dust. It was a hand me down Maytag set from my parents and I loved it. It did such a good job! We had the dryer repaired a few times but when the washing machine broke the repair guy let us know that it really wasn't worth fixing. So, I spent the whole day researching what to get and decided to skip out on the front loaders. This set got great reviews and has the same capacity as a front loading set. I am really loving it... and it sings a fun jingle when the washer or dryer is done!
This is my girl a few weeks ago on our breakfast date! I peeked into her room at 6:30 and saw that she was awake so I snuck her away for some girl time at Panera. Nick and I both love to get one on one time with our kiddos and we chatted a few weeks ago and realized that early on weekday mornings might be a good time to sneak that in. I loved my time with this precious girl.
This guy went to the groomer last week! He needed to go badly! He was a mess. He looked so cute when he got home. They had even put a little fall bandana on him. We love our Scout!
And we love Whiskers too. I loved this picture of him all stretched out on the back of the couch the other day. He looks so comfy!
I was cracking up at this pic yesterday. I wanted to grab a quick shot of Sam in these new jammies my mom got him and he was not having it! Unfortunately, even crying, he is just too cute!
Max wanted to read the bedtime story last night. He has totally taken off on reading and it makes my heart so happy. I think for him until he could read book that interest him it was just hard to get too excited to learn to read. He also doesn't like to take the time to sound things out so he prefers to just memorize sight words. Which is fine to some degree... but he is in a good place right now!
This past weekend we got invited to dinner by a wonderful family in our small group. Our whole family had a blast. They have 6 children and whenever I mentioned that to someone they said "whoa! That is a lot of kids!". I have been thinking about it and realized that to me that doesn't really seem like a lot of kid anymore. It used to! Maybe it is from watching the Duggars too much or just from going to our church where there are lots of families with 5, 6 or even 11 kids! It just seems normal to me now!
I think it is interesting how strange it has become in our culture though to have a large family. I originally thought having 4 kids would be a lot but I rarely "feel" like we have a large family. I just feel like a mom with my kids! But, I do get a lot of comments on "having my hands full".
I also find it kind of interesting that after you have two kids everyone just kind of assumes you won't have more kids. I feel like when I was pregnant with Jack and Sam it was such a huge surprise to people that, especially after having a boy and a girl, that we would want more children. Especially now I feel like most people just assume we will never have more children. I don't have plans for more right now, but I just think it is really interesting that people just assume that we wouldn't want more.
Maybe it is a little different for me too because I remember always wanting to have 5 or 6 kids. I remember telling my mom that and she would always laugh and say I might change my mind! But, she did always tell me that I would be a good mom! Ha!
Well, I think that is all I have for the moment ;) I will leave you all with some Ramsey kiddos cuteness..
Sunday, October 13, 2013
A few random things and my big epiphany
I want to do a post of our little pumpkin patch adventure yesterday... but I am too lazy to go get the cord for my phone to download the pics at the moment... So, hopefully I will get to that in the next few days because I got some great pics! Here is one little sneak peak...

Sammy has a little cold so I kept him home from church to get some rest after being up all night. So, I finally got him settled and am sitting here enjoying some coffee and quiet.
I wanted to get on here and share an epiphany I had this week. I have been pretty stressed out lately... more than usual. Having 4 young kiddos and homeschooling half of them is not the easiest thing I have ever done. But, I realized this week I had been putting a lot of extra pressure on myself.
I read this article from Growing Home about 15 Good things she doesn't do... And found myself totally in tears by the end of it.
I realized I often thought so much about how I have a friend that saves so much money using coupons so I should be using lots of coupons, and how I have a friend that is in really great shape because she exercises all of the time so I should exercise all the time, and how I have a friend whose kids are in lots of fun extra curricular activities so I should have my kids in lots of activities, and a friend who decorates well, one who cooks really amazing homemade meals, one who does fun crafts with her kids all of the time... and then I realized... BUT these are all different people... not just one friend! I don't know anyone who does ALL of those things, at least not well. And yet, I had convinced myself that I needed to be doing ALL of those things ALL the time in order to be a good and Godly wife and mother.
It is hard to say no to things because there are so many good things to do! It is really good to save money and cook from scratch and exercise... but I only have so many hours in the day. And I have young children who need lots of attention...
So, for right now, I have to say "no" to a lot of good things and focus on my priorities! After God my husband and children are my #1 priority. And I know that one of the most important things to them is to have a happy wife and mama. Which means they can't have a wife and mama who is constantly stressed and comparing herself to others.
So, I am realizing I have to have some "focus areas" in my life right now that are things I do spend a little more time on and a lot of things that I just let go of for now.

Sammy has a little cold so I kept him home from church to get some rest after being up all night. So, I finally got him settled and am sitting here enjoying some coffee and quiet.
I wanted to get on here and share an epiphany I had this week. I have been pretty stressed out lately... more than usual. Having 4 young kiddos and homeschooling half of them is not the easiest thing I have ever done. But, I realized this week I had been putting a lot of extra pressure on myself.
I read this article from Growing Home about 15 Good things she doesn't do... And found myself totally in tears by the end of it.
I realized I often thought so much about how I have a friend that saves so much money using coupons so I should be using lots of coupons, and how I have a friend that is in really great shape because she exercises all of the time so I should exercise all the time, and how I have a friend whose kids are in lots of fun extra curricular activities so I should have my kids in lots of activities, and a friend who decorates well, one who cooks really amazing homemade meals, one who does fun crafts with her kids all of the time... and then I realized... BUT these are all different people... not just one friend! I don't know anyone who does ALL of those things, at least not well. And yet, I had convinced myself that I needed to be doing ALL of those things ALL the time in order to be a good and Godly wife and mother.
It is hard to say no to things because there are so many good things to do! It is really good to save money and cook from scratch and exercise... but I only have so many hours in the day. And I have young children who need lots of attention...
So, for right now, I have to say "no" to a lot of good things and focus on my priorities! After God my husband and children are my #1 priority. And I know that one of the most important things to them is to have a happy wife and mama. Which means they can't have a wife and mama who is constantly stressed and comparing herself to others.
So, I am realizing I have to have some "focus areas" in my life right now that are things I do spend a little more time on and a lot of things that I just let go of for now.
- Basic care of my family is obviously kind of #1. Making sure everyone is clean and fed and loved and snuggled and read to... that is the priority.
- Homeschooling. We are now legally required to be logging hours and "doing school" with Max. But, this is also something we feel called by God to do and it is very high on my priority list. It takes a lot of my time and energy during the day and has meant we have had to learn to say "no" to a lot of other things.
- Eating at home. For health and budget reasons I am making it a priority to eat at home for almost all of our meals. We eat out or grab take out maybe once a week (which is a huge step down from how often we used to!). But, I only have so many hours in a day so meals are simple. I do a lot of freezer cooking to keep weeknights low-stress. And I don't make everything as healthy as it could be or as cheaply as I could. I just don't have time for that right now. I do the best I can but just eating at home is the goal.
- Keeping my home relatively tidy. I have made this a priority right now because we have people over in our home quite often. We host our small group every week and then generally have people over in some capacity or another at least once a week. It is very stressful to have to take hours before people come over to get things in order. So, striving to keep things relatively neat most of the time cuts down on my stress level.
And so that will mean there are some REALLY GOOD things that I don't do!
- I don't cook super healthy meals from scratch.
- I don't coupon and price match and shop multiple stores.
- I don't have my kids signed up for a lot of activities outside of the home.
- We don't do much outside of the home during weekdays.
- I don't go out a lot with girlfriends or by myself.
- We don't do a lot of big art and craft projects.
- I don't do many crafts or hobbies outside of blogging every once in awhile or doing something together as a family.
So, that is what I am learning. And I am writing this post partly so that I can remind myself of all of this when I start comparing or listening to others telling me what I "should" be doing... And then I can also look at this picture of what God has blessed ME with...
Monday, October 7, 2013
Birthday in KC!
Whew! Life in the Ramsey house has been busy lately! Maybe things will be settling down a bit soon?...
We spent this past weekend in Kansas City with my whole family celebrating a certain boy turning 7. 7??? How can that be? I may or may not have cried the night before his birthday... 7 just sounds so old to me.

We had so much fun going to KC. My parents went to and we all stayed at my sister's house. She has two spare bedrooms so each room had 2 kids and 2 adults and it worked pretty well. And Jack was over the moon thrilled that he was getting to sleep in "Papa's room". That boy lives and breathes for his Papa. It is sweet.
We got into Kansas City late Friday evening so we didn't do much besides get everyone ready for bed. The next day we went to the T-Rex Cafe for lunch. A perfect birthday lunch for my dino-loving boy! Here is a pic my sister took at the restaurant.

It was a little funny because it is super loud outside the restuarnat and walking in with music and roaring. Soph and Jack both freaked out and didn't even want to go in! Nick and I both had to carry one in and took them directly to the gift shop to look around! That distracted them nicely!
Speaking of... Sophie lucked out in the gift shop... My mom had told each kiddo they could pick something out after lunch. She said they could get something around $20. Sophie immediately saw the Build-a-Dino place and wanted to do that. I told her she would have to talk to grandma but that it was probably too expensive (they started at $20 before clothes or anything!). So she asked my mom just as we were going back to eat and my mom was distracted and didn't really hear her and said yes... So this happened...
Plus, dress, shoes, and sunglasses. Sophie is pretty in love with Sally though... :)
We were going to go to a farm after lunch but after walking around and doing some shopping we were all a little wiped out and the kids really wanted to get home and try out the Disney Infinity game my dad had got for the Wii.
We had such a good time and are so thankful my sister and brother-in-law were willing to let our crazy bunch take over their house for the weekend. Max and Sophie are already begging to spend their next birthdays in Kansas City with Aunt Emmie and Uncle Simon!
Sidenote: I was reminded of why we don't spend big money on vacations at this point in our lives... my children are terrible sleepers away from home!! Oh my goodness I am tired!
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
What should childhood look like?
This little article, supposedly written by a preschool teacher, has been floating around on Facebook. I read it last week and saw that my sister re-posted it yesterday. I loved it so much I cried. And then vowed to re-read it everyday (which I have already failed at! ha!) But, here it is...
Written by a Pre-School Teacher – It says it all!
I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. “What should a 4 year old know?” she asked.
Most of the answers left me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how to write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only three. A few posted URL’s to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.
It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that hers couldn’t. We are such a competitive culture that even our pre-schoolers have become trophies and bragging rights. Childhood shouldn’t be a race.
So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.
She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn’t feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.
He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he’ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she’s wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvellous. She should know that it’s just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that– way more worthy.
But more important, here’s what parents need to know.
That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.
That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.
That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children “advantages” that we’re giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.
That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children’s toys and they wouldn’t be missed, but some things are important– building toys like lego and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too– to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it’s absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.
That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That’s not okay! Our children don’t need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US. They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they’re a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.
Oh this totally put so many of my feelings into words! If I get one more lecture on the importance of kids being in sports and other "organized activities" I might just scream! Seriously! Our kiddos do not need to be busy! They do not need a schedule full of "activities". They need freedom to play and learn! They need time to be bored so that they can pick up books, or decide to write their own. Time to play pirates and princesses or both. Time to sing songs and play outside.
We have struggled to find the balance in activities with our kids. This year we have opted to do a few that our kids could do together (art class once a week and a gymnastics class once a month) and that were during the day so that they do not cut into family time. I almost cringe when I hear that families aren't able to go do fun things together, or visit relatives, go on a trip, or serve in their community because Little Johnny has a basketball game. Seriously, family life revolves around the 5 year old? I am not anti-sports. We have done a few and I am sure will do a few more in the future. But, they have taken over family life in our world and it makes me so sad. And at the same time I have been tempted to sign on for it too because it seems to be what everyone else is doing and I so desperately want to give my children a "normal" childhood.
But, then, maybe I don't. Because looking around it seems like a normal childhood is one with little to no family time. Most time at home is spent in front of the tv, XBox, or some handheld device. Childhood is not characterized by playing but by competition and trying to get ahead.
It makes me sad. And I am frustrated with myself because I give into it sometimes too. I am tempted to keep our calendar full too. And I turn on the TV way more often than I should... I should really tell them to grab a book or go make up a play to perform for me in 20 minutes. But, I get lazy and I go to the default. But, I want to be better. I want my children to have a "simple, carefree childhood".
So, I am going to be working towards that... Working towards saying "no" to little league, chess club, and a long list of classes that promise to make my kids amazing... and saying "yes" to forts in the living room, walks to the playground, help making cookies, and just one more story...
And of course, I will keep you posted :)
Written by a Pre-School Teacher – It says it all!
I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. “What should a 4 year old know?” she asked.
Most of the answers left me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how to write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only three. A few posted URL’s to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.
It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that hers couldn’t. We are such a competitive culture that even our pre-schoolers have become trophies and bragging rights. Childhood shouldn’t be a race.
So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.
She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn’t feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.
He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he’ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she’s wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvellous. She should know that it’s just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that– way more worthy.
But more important, here’s what parents need to know.
That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.
That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.
That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children “advantages” that we’re giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.
That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children’s toys and they wouldn’t be missed, but some things are important– building toys like lego and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too– to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it’s absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.
That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That’s not okay! Our children don’t need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US. They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they’re a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.
Oh this totally put so many of my feelings into words! If I get one more lecture on the importance of kids being in sports and other "organized activities" I might just scream! Seriously! Our kiddos do not need to be busy! They do not need a schedule full of "activities". They need freedom to play and learn! They need time to be bored so that they can pick up books, or decide to write their own. Time to play pirates and princesses or both. Time to sing songs and play outside.
We have struggled to find the balance in activities with our kids. This year we have opted to do a few that our kids could do together (art class once a week and a gymnastics class once a month) and that were during the day so that they do not cut into family time. I almost cringe when I hear that families aren't able to go do fun things together, or visit relatives, go on a trip, or serve in their community because Little Johnny has a basketball game. Seriously, family life revolves around the 5 year old? I am not anti-sports. We have done a few and I am sure will do a few more in the future. But, they have taken over family life in our world and it makes me so sad. And at the same time I have been tempted to sign on for it too because it seems to be what everyone else is doing and I so desperately want to give my children a "normal" childhood.
But, then, maybe I don't. Because looking around it seems like a normal childhood is one with little to no family time. Most time at home is spent in front of the tv, XBox, or some handheld device. Childhood is not characterized by playing but by competition and trying to get ahead.
It makes me sad. And I am frustrated with myself because I give into it sometimes too. I am tempted to keep our calendar full too. And I turn on the TV way more often than I should... I should really tell them to grab a book or go make up a play to perform for me in 20 minutes. But, I get lazy and I go to the default. But, I want to be better. I want my children to have a "simple, carefree childhood".
So, I am going to be working towards that... Working towards saying "no" to little league, chess club, and a long list of classes that promise to make my kids amazing... and saying "yes" to forts in the living room, walks to the playground, help making cookies, and just one more story...
And of course, I will keep you posted :)
Friday, August 30, 2013
The one where I am selfish...
I love having people over to our home. I love entertaining. When Monica on Friends said, "I am ALWAYS the hostess!" I found myself saying, "preach it, Sister!" But, 4 kids, homeschooling, and just general business have left me feeling a little less than hospitable these past few years. It started to feel like having people over was just too stressful. And then, a few weeks ago, we offered up our home for our weekly small group gatherings.
We knew when we bought our home that we wanted to use our home as a place of ministry. We bought a house bigger than we needed for just our family with a good layout for entertaining. We dreamed of all of the ways we could use our home to serve God and were eager to have a space to serve and love people. And I believe we have done that... but lately it has been harder.
Enter the small group situation. I was so excited to be able to share our home with our small group peeps. And, it is why we bought the house in the first place. Yesterday was our first night hosting. I woke up yesterday morning feeling a little bit anxious but was mostly eager. Then I got an e-mail that another family would be joining us and that there would be 29 people that night. I got nervous! And then... I got selfish!
I immediately thought... "What if something gets ruined? What if someone spills something on my new couch? What if our carpet gets messed up? What if one of my kids' toys gets broken?"... I immediately started thinking of why I shouldn't "have" to be the one to host (um... pretty sure I offered!).
I don't like to claim that God "spoke to me". There was nothing audible. But, as I was praying (well... complaining) to God about the whole situation I believe that he spoke to my heart on some level. I realized that yes, things might get broken, they might get ruined... but you know, they are not MY things. This is not MY house. This house and everything in it belong to God. I am simply the one who is stewarding it and it is to be used for His glory and purposes.
The earth us the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it" -Psalm 24:1
It was exactly the reminder I needed. How true is that of everyTHING in our life? These things really aren't ours, but we hold onto them so tightly sometimes.
We enjoyed last night. We were blessed being able to use our home. Hospitality is not easy. It does require work to get your home ready, serve food, clean up afterwards, etc. But, we can find joy in knowing that we are serving for the One who is The Servant.
No doubt I will still struggle sometimes. My selfishness will get the best of me. But, hopefully I can look back to Psalm 24:1 and remember. And find peace in the fact that I am simply the steward of all that I have but that in reality it all belongs to God.
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