Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A ton of bricks...

is what I feel like I have been smacked with this morning. In the good way! I just read this article by Lysa TerKeurst (who I love by the way!) and it was exactly what I needed to hear. It is about our desire as moms to be "that mom" the one that cooks, crafts, and cleans with ease. But, we weren't all created to be "that mom". Why did I need to read this article this morning? Because I woke up with a renewed promise to myself to try harder to be "that mom" today. Today I was going to be a better mom. I was going to try extra hard. I have really been believing that the reason that I am not "that mom" is that I am just not trying hard enough and just not dedicated enough to being a good mom. But, when I read this article I felt like God spoke to me. Not exactly audibly but I feel like he let me know that he didn't create me to be "that mom".

I have some friends that are "that mom" and I have always been so jealous and felt so inferior. They love to do all sorts of crafts with their kids, bake with them, they have perfectly clean houses and make perfect cupcakes and treats for every occasion. And, oh, how I have tried to be like them. To be a "good mom". See that is the problem. I believed that the definition of being a good mom was crafts and planned activities with corresponding treats. I really believed down in my soul that good moms are the ones that love doing lessons on letters with their two year olds and good moms never let their kids watch more than a half hour of TV a day and good moms of course would NEVER send their kid's to Mom's Day Out for a day because they need to be with them all the time. And I have spent all of this time trying to be a good mom and making myself miserable.

I am in no way saying that there is anything wrong with being "that mom". I truly believe that many women I know truly are "that mom". They are very gifted at doing those things and THEY LOVE DOING THEM. Therefor, they are happy moms.

I have other things I am good at. And I actually enjoy doing those things with my kids. I love going for walks around our neighborhood, I love making up silly stories with Max about every animal under the sun, I love playing Barbies with Sophie, I love when our entire family is running around the house trying to steal Daddy's socks and laughing so hard we are almost in tears.

You see... it hit me this morning that maybe the secret to being a good mom isn't necessarily in "what" you do with your kids, but "how".  What is my attitude toward what I am doing with my kids? Am I being a happy mom for them? Am I finding things that we can both really enjoy to do together? I am not saying that I will never do another craft with my children or bake holiday appropriate treats. But, I want to stop defining my worth as a mom by these things. Because I think good moms are happy moms. And when my kids are all grown up I don't want them to say that their mom always made the most perfect treats or threw the most wonderful theme parties. But that their mom was happy when she was with them.

I have so much more to flush out when it comes to this topic. But, I am so grateful I read this article today. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and I feel very happy.


  1. Wow Katie!!! I was kind of stalking your blog today and I am glad I did. Lol!! You put every thought I've been having in your post!!! It is hard to feel like a great mom all the time... Especially for me, when most the time the hubby is away. But really thank you for writing this post. It has mademe want to start the day off right!!! I think you are a great mom!!
    Ashley Adams

  2. Freeeeeedom!!! Glad that you are realizing that
    "mom smarts" come in all different packages!! And for what it's worth, I think you are a FANTASTIC mom and there's things about your mothering style that I wish I did better!!!

  3. i'm not "that" mom either. never have been, never will, but that hasn't stopped me from feeling the way you did about it. thanks for the reminder that that doesn't make me a bad mom!

  4. Seriously, Katie-they need to make this post into a track and hand it out to new moms wherever they give birth and at parks, MOPS groups, churches etc.. If I embraced the truths expressed in this post earlier, I would have had many more years of joyful parenting! Very well said, my friend!