Raising your kid when his glass is usually half empty

I love my 6 year old little boy so much. He is ridiculously intelligent, handsome, funny, and he gives the best snuggles around. He really is a sweet boy. But, he is also kind of a pessimist  His natural inclination in most situations is to see the negative side of things... and to point it out!

I often have joked with the hubs that if we took Max to Disney World and let him ride ever ride twice and eat as much candy as he wanted his response at the end of the day would be that he didn't get to ride each ride three times and they didn't offer enough chocolate at the happiest place on earth...

My husband says he can relate and remembers being the same way as a kid. I am very thankful that I have his perspective in this area because sometimes it feels like I am failing big time as a mom and am raising a really ungrateful kid. But, it is good to see that there is hope of him outgrowing this!

But for now, I am here dealing with the day in and day out of helping a pessimistic child navigate the world... a world which is often boring in his opinion. It can be very disheartening to try to teach the same lessons day in and day out. Most days I feel like I am not getting anywhere.

I am not sure what the point of this post is. I have in no way "arrived" and have no real advice to offer. But, if you area dealing with the same thing, know that I feel for ya! And I am choosing to persevere. I believe that God does have big plans for my sweet Max and I believe that He is at work in his heart.

In the meantime I am focusing on

• Helping Max to see the positive, pointing out the bright side for him.
• Correcting and dealing with behavior issues. 
• Helping him develop self control, especially in the area of his speech (even though we are unhappy with something it isn't always okay to say it!)
• Helping him to think about others (it just does not come naturally to Max... total opposite of his sister in this way!) by reminding him about other people's feeling and opinions. We do lots of storytelling, talking through and practicing different scenarios, etc.
• Giving him opportunities to love and serve others.
• Pray, pray, pray!

And even in all of the harder things, I wouldn't trade this boy for the whole world. Doesn't that dimple almost do you in? Love my little man... even though he stretches me as a mom in ways I never thought possible!

Linking up at The Better Mom and The Modest Mom today!

The Nutcracker Ballet

On Friday morning I got to take my two big kiddos to see The Nutcracker Ballet with our homeschool group (Jack got to spend the morning with his Papa which he was very excited about!). I realized that this was my kiddos first opportunity to go to a live theater production and I made a point to share with them proper theater etiquette and remind them that going to the theater is a very special privilege. I was also very pleased we had an opportunity for them to get a little more wear out of the adorable Christmas outfits that my mom got them for Christmas! I didn't take my camera with me but we got some cute shots in front of the tree before we left.

Little bro did not want to be left out of the sibling photo shoot.

Nothing makes me quite happier than seeing our three kiddos together. I can't wait until we add their little brother to the group photos!

The kids and I had a wonderful time and I was beyond proud of them! In the past the performance used to be cut short for the kiddos but this year was a full two hour ballet. They sat still through the entire thing and told me that they loved it! Max said he loved the rat king and Sophie loved all of the ballerinas. I am so thankful to have gotten to have such a neat Christmas experience with my kiddos!

My Saturday Morning View

This is what Saturday mornings usually look like around here. We spend some time getting the house cleaned up and then at some point it turns into wrestle time with Daddy. Today's wrestle time included costumes and stage names. I sit and drink my coffee and enjoy my front row seat.

Jack tends to get a little bored with is at some point so usually the dump trucks come out...

So thankful for Saturday mornings with my family.

10 weeks to go...

I am 30 weeks today! Wow! That is just crazy! When I posted this photo on Instagram I had to ask if it would be socially acceptable to wear comfy pants for the next 10 weeks... I was kind of serious...

Things are going well though. We had an ultrasound last week and our little guy looks awesome! The doc is not concerned at all with our little man anymore which was a wonderful early Christmas present for this mama. They said he weights about 2 pounds, 14 ounces right now so his growth is no longer a concern and his heart and palette look great. Yay! Also, I passed my glucose test and my doctor's only concern was that my iron levels are a little low. He suggested trying to get a little more iron through food. Steak for dinner? If you insist...

I have also reached the point where getting to my own toes and breathing at the same time is a difficult endeavor. Lucky for me, I have the best husband ever. After offering to send me to get a pedicure to which I declined because A) I am feeling cheap this time of year and B) I really didn't want to have to shave my legs... the hubs offered to paint my toes himself. Oh how I love that man! And he actually did a really good job. If computer programming doesn't pan out I think he has a real future in toenails....

Also, in the wake of preparing for baby, our other baby might be dealing with a little bit of regression...

This guy is a wildcard for sure. We were at lunch with a friend and her baby yesterday and the baby was doing the "yelling to hear his own voice" little thing that babies do. Jack walked up to him and covered his mouth with his hand and said, "stop it baby". Yeah, I might have my hands full....

Despite a little anxiety about how Jack will do and a little pressure to get every nook and cranny of my home clean and organized, we could not be more excited for our little Quatro to get here! We love him so much already.

Markers Everywhere

This is what this boy does almost all day long every single day.... His hands are constantly maker stained (his favorite medium). He creates comic books, draws pictures of robots and super heroes, makes books about wild animals.

It cracks us up because when Max was about 3 his Sunday School teachers would get so frustrated because he absolutely refused to color. And now we can't get him to stop!

I am very thankful for my artistic, creative boy!

Every Season Looks Different

Our maple tree in our backyard turned bright red about a week ago and now has already lost about half of its leaves. It looks so different than it did even a few weeks ago full of bright yellow trees and then of course this summer it was all green!

I think parenting is often very similar to my maple tree. You can be going along, feeling like you have the knack of handling all of your kiddos at their various ages and then a few weeks later everything is different. Someone has hit the terrible twos and someone else has outgrown wanting to take a bath with his younger siblings... all of the sudden your life starts to look terribly different.

I think one of the biggest challenges in parenting is learning to change and adapt as the seasons in parenting change. Realizing that what used to work wonderfully is not going to work anymore. It can be hard to keep up. I think especially the more children you have the more changes seem to be happening constantly with someone.

Last night the hubs and I realized we needed to make a change in our home. The way we had been doing things was just not working anymore. Up until now we have put all our kiddos to bed pretty early and at the same time. Usually between 7:15 and 7:30. It was a huge sanity saver for us with having lots of young kiddos. And it was nice to put everyone down at the same time. But, last night we chatted and realized it wasn't working so well anymore.

The hubs doesn't get home until a little after 6 every evening. So, our evenings had become eat dinner, do a quick clean up time, give the kids a quick bath, family worship, and then everyone in bed. Each night it felt like a race to get it all done in time. But, with Max and Sophie being older they really need to be able to have more time in the evening when their dad is home. And we feel as a family our evenings do not need to be so rushed. We want to enjoy that sacred family time.

So, we came up with a new game plan. Jack will still go to bed at the normal time 7:15/7:30, after family worship. And then we will have some quiet time where we can talk, snuggle and read books, draw together, or sometimes even watch a short movie or show together before Soph goes to bed at 8 and Max at 8:15. We also realized it was important for Max to get to stay up a little later than his younger siblings. He has a little more responsibility being the oldest and has to work hard to get along with little kids all day who take his toys and mess up his Legos... he needs to also see some benefit to being the oldest.

I am excited about our new plan... while realizing soon it will need to be tweaked and changed too.

But, being a parent means figuring out what is best for your kids and what works for your family in your current stage in life and making it work!

Max turns 6

 I just can't understand how a person can blink and go from this...

to this...

My sweet Max P. Ramsey is 6 years old today! 6! I just can't believe it! I will never be able to express to God how thankful I am that he chose me to be the mom of this amazing guy. He challenges me all of the time  but it has been wonderful! As Max has gotten older we have found that behind all of the animal noises and dinosaur knowledge there is a boy with the sweetest heart who truly loves people. I love watching him learn about the Lord and frankly, he probably already knows more about the Bible than I do. I have no doubt in my mind that God has big plans for the unique talents and gifts of this sweet boy!

Happy 6th Birthday Max! You are so loved by this family!

Guess who is 2?

Jack Ramsey made his blog debut exactly 2 years ago today. One year ago we celebrated him turning one year old with a circus bash. And this weekend we celebrated our sweet two year old in tractor style. We are so thankful for our little man. He keeps us on our toes with his strong personality but I know God is going to use his BIG personality for BIG things. We love you Jack Jack.

The lady at the grocery store...

You are at the grocery store with your three children all under the age of 5... what was supposed to be a trip for milk and eggs turned into a cartful of random groceries and crabby kids. Every 5 minutes someone is asking to buy something with cartoon characters on the front, the baby grabs the loaf of bread and is smashing it up, your 2 year old has to go to the bathroom twice in the 20 minutes you are at the store and you finally get to the checkout line... sweet light at the end of the tunnel. You start unloading your groceries and a little older lady behind you says something to the effect of, "oh, I remember those days! Enjoy them because before you know it they are gone and your kids are all grown-up like mine"... and if you are feeling friendly you will smile and nod but deep down you are annoyed. This lady doesn't remember how hard it is with little kids. Enjoy it? I am just trying to survive it!

I am not sure if this scenario has ever happened to you... or anything similar. But, I have seen some similar articles online about things like this and I can totally relate personally.But, I think the reality is... the lady at the store isn't saying that to belittle what you are doing. She isn't saying it because she doesn't know how hard it is to raise little ones. In fact, she probably did it with more kids and without the advantages of Disney Jr. and microwave chicken nuggets at her disposal. She knows how hard it is... But, she is trying to point you to the bigger picture... And the bigger picture is that we really will miss these days. The bigger picture is that our children really are only little for a short window of time. And the bigger picture is that children aren't given to us to burden us and weigh us down.

In reality, most of us chose (and were given that opportunity by the grace of God) to be mom's. Motherhood is not a prison sentence that someone put on us. It is a blessing and an opportunity to love hard and serve well.

I am not saying it is always easy. I am right there in the trenches with all of you and I know that there can be hard moments. Really hard moments. But, if we can make the effort to keep our eyes on the bigger picture and keep our focus there I know that we will all have the opportunity to truly enjoy these years. And instead of being annoyed with the lady in the super market we should be thanking her for pointing us back to the right place...

I am linking up at Growing Home and Women Living Well!

Every day is not your birthday

I love Pinterest. The ideas and inspiration make being a fun mom basically effortless. "10 ideas to make your kids birthday special", "Fun ways to show your kids you love them", "Surprises for your kids"... you see these pins all over (or ones like them, these were made up but you know what I mean!). And there are some great ideas! I love making my kids feel special, surprising them, and just having fun.

However, I think we need to remember that every day is not our child's birthday. Not every day needs to be filled with surprises, baked treats, lunches shaped like their favorite cartoon characters, eating out for dinner, etc. Our kids need to have normal days. They need to have days that aren't all about them and making them happy. Days where the meals are simple, they do their chores, read books, play board games, have family worship and go to bed on time. Our kids need to feel loved and affirmed and like they are an important part of the family. They also need to know that the world does not revolve around them, and that their happiness and joy is not at the center of every decision the family makes.

I think when we get too carried away with feeding our children's desire to be entertained and pleased we are raising a dangerous generation of children. One that seeks only their own pleasure. One that can't be satisfied in living a simple and quiet life but one that needs others entertaining them at all times and bowing to their every whim. We are not raising a generation that seeks not to serve, but to be served.

Simple days can still be filled with joy and laughter and fun. And raising our children to see simple days as joyful and fun is an amazing gift that we can give to our children. And I believe it makes days like Christmas or birthdays or the days that you do some extra special things as a family so special.  I think those special things lose their specialness when you do them everyday...

So how often should you have "extra special days" and how often should your days be routine. I don't know. I don't think there is a formula. I think your kids will make it obvious when they have had a few too many special days. I would venture to say that the majority of your days should be fairly routine and simple. And I know that my routine and simple will look very different from yours. We are all different and do things differently. But, if you are like me and your goal is to raise Godly children I think it is important to take a close look and make sure we are not "drinking the Kool-Aid" that society is trying to sell us. For our children to feel loved we don't have to act like everyday is their birthday...

*This picture is from an actual birthday last summer. You can see the details here.

I am linking up at Women Living Well.

Sibling Love

I remember a little over a year ago when I would pray every night that my children would like each other. They used to fight all the time. They still fight a lot more than I would like. But, they are the best of friends now and I find it beyond sweet. They share a room (totally by choice) and get sad when the other one isn't around. Even as I type this they are snuggled on the couch together watching Curious George. I am so thankful that they are buddies and I still pray every night that they will always be close and close to their little brother (who they currently fight with all the time!) Maybe 1-2 year olds are just hard to get along with?... 

Sheparding a Child's Heart

I am reading "Sheparding a Child's Heart" by Ted Tripp and gleaning so much from it already. Which is basically hilarious because the first time I read it I thought it was absolutely awful and was the worst parenting book I had ever read. But, I was in a very different place spiritually then. A place where I was reading a lot of worldly wisdom and desiring for my children to fit in well in the world. 


I have been thinking a lot about how busy we are already. Our 5 year old is playing soccer this Spring and our 3 year old is in ballet. Then add to that small group every week, other church commitments, getting together with family and friends, and you have a schedule that is pretty crazy. And my kids are still little!


This passage from the book totally knocked me over the head this week. Mr. Tripp is talking about the worldview that we give to our children based on the business of our/their lives:


"If your objectives are anything other than "Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever," you teach your children to function in the culture on its terms. How do we do this? We pander to their desires and wishes.We teach them to find their soul's delight in going places and doing things. We attempt to satisfy our lust for excitement. We fill their young lives with distractions from God. We give them material things and take delight in possessions. Then we hope that somewhere down the line they will see that a life worth living is found only in knowing and serving God." 


I am linking up today at Raising Mighty Arrows!

Toys, Toys, Toys

I have three kiddos ages 5 and under. And despite my best efforts the toy clutter monster seems to rear it's ugly head just about every month. Today I went into my five year old's room while he was at preschool (insert evil laugh here) and filled two laundry baskets full of toys and took them down to the basement. I am waiting to see if he notices. So far, he hasn't. 

But, while I do really dislike toy clutter I don't dislike toys in general. But, as I have gotten farther into this parenting journey I have become very picky about what kids of toys I do like my children playing with. As a rule I don't like toys that make a lot of noise or toys that "do all the playing by themselves". I prefer simple. well made toys that spark the imagination. And it doesn't hurt if all three kiddos can get good use out of them too!

Here are some of our favorite toys at the R household.

Our wooden kitchen from KidKraft. We have had this for a few years and it still looks brand new. All of our kids get lots of use out of it and I love the creativity it sparks.

Our little Jack loves cars. These ones have held up wonderfully through all three kiddos as well.

Instead of having a million different building sets I prefer to have a few that we can add to. By far the Lego Duplos still get the most play in our house. Max is starting to graduate to the regular Legos but these are still his favorite.

I don't know if you are aware but the R family is quite musical... or we try to be. We got Jack this musical instrument set for Christmas and it has been fun for the whole crew.

Of course markers are the most coveted art supply around here. My oldest usually spends at least an hour a day drawing. Usually pictures of Angry Birds.

Max has always loved dinosaurs and animals and my favorite toys for him have always been the basic plastic ones. They usually get the most play and are versitile for playing with around the house or in water or sand. He has a lot of Imaginext ones and frankly those just get on my nerves. They are noisy and plastic. I like how simple these ones are.

And of course the ultimate in imagination is dress up. Both of my kids love to dress up. Sophie is rarely without a princess dress on and Max is right with her putting together a Super Hero costume.

Those are our favorite toys around here. Anything else is fair game to get tossed at anytime! How about your house? What are your favorite toys?

I am linking up today at Raising Homemakers!

Things that make you go hmmm....

Happy Friday!